Something Different!

Just thought I would give you few who visit here a small sample of the sort of thing I do when not doing research on the net or playing computer games. Enjoy!

http://CMCOUGAR.shutterpoint.com

Some Relief At Last

Well, the Lyrica has proven beneficial in controlling the day in and day out all over muscular pain that I have been cursed with for some time now. It does make me feel a little like a limp rag, but since I only take it at bedtime, who cares? Now if I could just find something to stop the extreme low back pain!

Is Anybody Out There?

I see that I have one new member, but no new replies. Am I really that boring?

Adjustments

Well, the dose on the Lyrica was far too high. For about 12 hours I felt positively drunk..........lack of coordination, couldn't keep my eyes open, and couldn't concentrate. However, after sleeping very hard that night, I awoke the next day with virtually no pain. This effect lasted well into the afternoon. The end may just be in sight for this all day every day activity crippling pain.

New Hope

Today my doctor gave me a prescription for Lyrica. I do have a little trepidation about taking it because of the possibility of unpleasant side effects, but if it works it will give me a new lease on life. Because of my problems getting around, my property looks like the grapes of wrath, and I can't afford to hire anyone to keep it up for me. If my disability comes through, maybe that will change. The man I spoke to about my application didn't seem to think there would be any problem, but I can't help but think he was just trying to reassure me. I know how this process works. However, I live in hope.

Further Complications

My doctor has forbidden me to take take nsaids............for the rest of my life. This sudden sessation of the only consistant relief that I had from my chronic back pain has left me almost bedridden. I am barely able to walk down to the barn and back to feed and water my horse. If I didn't have the shopping cart to lean on, I would not be able to do the weekly shopping. As it is, by the time I am done making the rounds at Wal Mart, I am in agony. This plus the several thousand dollars in hospital bills has forced me to apply for disability/medicaid. I have little hope of actually qualifying, but it is my only alternative. On top of everything else, I have now developed phlebitis in my right leg just below the knee. I have begun to take herbal supplements to help thin my blood so that it won't get any worse, but the chance of my getting a DVT has now skyrocketed. It never rains!

On the upside, I recently rescued a tiny half starved kitten that has totally stolen my heart. She is black and white with a skunk-like white stripe down the center of her back, and small enough to hold in the palm of my hand. She's so cute I can hardly stand it, and she is really lifting my spirits.

Back At Last!

Well folks, I know it's been a really long time, but there have been extenuating circumstances. Along with all of the heallth problems my animals have had, I myself just got home from an extended hospital stay for a massivly bleeding duodinal ulcer. I awakened one morning wickedly nauseated, and before I could even sit down on the toilet seat to vomit into the bathtub, I collapsed unconscious onto the floor. Upon awakening, and before I could even push myself up to a sitting posistion I proceeded to vomit up the largest volume of blood I have ever seen. Once that was all done, (and believe me, it looked like something out of a horror film) I crawled, spattered in my own blood, back into my bedroom to call 911. The ambulance took me to the ER, where after some routine testing, I was promptly admitted. I can't remember too much from that first day, but I do know that my doctor seemed to be genuinely surprised that I could even stand after the blood loss I had suffered. An endoscopy confirmed the bleeding ulcer, and after 2 units of blood, alot of rest, IV fluids, medications and virtually nothing to eat for two and a half days, I began to improve. I am now home sweet home, and on the mend. My cat Stinky aparently thought I was never coming home again.............she dug herself in behind the drawers of my bathroom sink counter, and refused to come out even to eat (so says my sister, who was taking care of her in my absence). Now that I'm back, she clings to my side like a puppy. If I leave the room for any reason, she stands at the door and cries. Poor kitty! She was just like this when Shelly, her very best friend in the world, died. I thought only dogs suffered loss this acutely. As much as I adore cats, I obviously have not given them enough credit.

Update

"If it isn't one damn thing, it's another", or so the saying goes. My horse was just getting over her annual spring bout of laminitis, and now her EHV-1 has decided to rear it's ugly head. Bucky is cursed with the neurological form of Eqiune Herpes Virus 1, which means when it is active she suffers from malaise, fever, lack of appetite, nasal discharge, and has pain, weakness and loss of coordination in her hind legs. I am treating her for the pain and fever, and bringing food and water to her so she doesn't have to walk to get it. Emotionally, she seems to be in good spirits, and so far there is no sign of any bowel or bladder problems. Difficulties in that area could lead to the unthinkable.

Of my five new kittens, only the three females remain. Suddenly, and for no observable reason, the two males died. It wasn't distemper or any other 'baby' disease that I am aware of. They are heavily inbred, so I suppose it could have been some sort of genetic defect that only affected the males. The females are all healthy, happy, active, and growing like weeds. Of the three, the one with the temporary name 'Black Chin' is my favorite. She abushes my bare feet as I walk by, plays with abandon, torments her sisters relentlessly, and is always looking for new ways to get into trouble. Assuming I can find homes for these babies (and not keep them all here) she is the one that I want to with me.

No Rest For The Weary!

Well folks, it's been a busy couple of weeks for me. So far I have de-thatched the front lawn, treated my backyard trees for iron deficiency, dug trenches for my mother's little garden, captured a semi-feral mother cat and her kittens (no easy feat, I assure you....she had the babies hidden away under a large pile of cut firewood that I had to carefully move one piece at a time!), and I have yet to prune fruit trees and de-stick the back yard for mowing. We have Globe Willow trees in the back, and the blasted things shed branches large and small like there's no tomorrow.

I can't say how much fun it is to have 5 such beautiful little kittens to care for. After my recent loss, it gives me great joy to have these new babies around. We have two grey tabbies, two black and white cow splotch patterns, and one all black. I can't wait for their individual little personalities to blossom!

The Question Of Race

There is no such thing as different 'races' of humans. If you will pardon the canine comparison, look at dogs......the infinate variety of shape, size, color, temperment, coat.......and yet they are all a single species: canis familiaris. So it goes with people. We are all one species: homo sapiens sapiens. When is the world going to realize this? Infinate diversity in infinate combination. Just for the record, I learned everything I need to know from Star Trek!

The Saddest Of Days

Two years ago, my darling little cat Shelly was diagnosed with a slow growing but lethal brain tumor. On April 22nd, she died, at the all too young age of four and a half. I had thought that knowing so far in advance that she would not live to see old age, that it would be easier for me deal with it. But when the time came, it wasn't. I have not been able to stop crying over her for two days. I placed a large rock on her grave, and around this I am going to plant a ring of tiger lillies in honor of her memory. Shelly was the sweetest, most gentle and affectionate cat I have ever known, and I miss her more than I can say.
April 22nd seems to be a day for bad things where cats are concerned. When I was 12 years old, my cat Isis (named in honor of the black cat from the Star Trek episode "Assignment: Earth") was killed by a driver charging out of a long driveway at 30+ miles an hour. A few years ago, also on April 22nd, I lost an entire litter of kittens to hospital aquired distemper. Call me superstitous, but this day is beginning to feel like some evil cosmic point in time.

Spring Fever

Sorry I have'nt posted anything of late, but I have been busy getting my house in order. I met with my doctor to discuss a pain control regimen to allow me to get out and do some things outside every day, and it's working out very well. I have so far been able to start my container garden, trim my horse's feet, and I will be treating my two backyard trees for iron deficiency in a few days. Then it will be time to start mowing the lawn again. I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to walk (even if only for a few hours) without it killing me! I am very fortunate to have a doctor that is willing to listen and let me try new things.

Holy Wars

O.K. folks......here is the philosophical question of the week.
When are the mainstream religions of the world going to realize how much they have in common and stop fighting with each other? Doesn't religion teach us to love and accept our fellow man? In my personal opinion, there is nothing holy about war of any kind, but it manages to get justified for religious reasons over and over again. Can anyone make sense of this?

Attention Film Score Freaks!

If you are into movie music in a big way (as I am) please be sure to visit Isbum's blog. If those guys don't have it, nobody does! Please be aware that this site specializes in extremely rare and out of print scores......not the new stuff....O.K.?

http://isbumsplace.blogspot.com/

If you like space art, check this out!

I have images for sale on a site called Shutterpoint. My best work is in the 'space' folder. Please take a look. And just so you know.....If you see something you would like to have, you don't have to go through Shutterpoint to get it from me. I can send it direct (thus avoiding the midlle man and the fees they charge).

http://www.shutterpoint.com/Photos-BrowseUser.cfm?user_id=CMCOUGAR&ai=B6X9P8

How this blog got it's name

Wraith Cat Running

Half my soul runs through the night
On silent padded paws
The other half exists by day
Moving on without a cause

Plodding through my dull routine
The pressure mounts inside me
I long for freedom and the night
The beast within is rising

Darkness is my reverie
It hides the worst and spares the best
It's magic is for me alone
It's terror saved for all the rest

Half my soul runs through the night
On silent padded paws
It's eyes are green it's coat is black
And at it's feet lay deadly claws

What brings about this change you ask
In truth I do not know
But I must heed the ancient call
And out into the night I go

All I know once dawn has come
Is that I've been alive
And what has perished in my wake
Insures the fact that I survive

Half my soul runs through the night
On silent padded paws
The other half is what you see
And when you see me, pause

People With Chronic Pain

Here is a rant to get the ball rolling. I (like so many other people here in the US) suffer from chronic pain. My doctor is very understanding, but is so hog tied by government regulation caused by presciption drug addicts, that he cannot supply me with the medication I need to simply function throughout the course of the day. It is this very problem that drives people like me to use barely legal online pharmacy services just to be able to get up and walk more that a few yards in a day. What's worse is the way most medical professionals percieve us.......as nothing more than closet addicts just trying to get drugs! I have tried nearly every existing pain control therepy, and nothing works very well. I have been diagnosed with both degenerative disc disease and ankylosing spondylitis, and I suffer from a significant amount of pain 24 hours a day. I have a 'legitimate medical need' for pain medication, but my doctor is only able to prescribe in the amount of one tablet per day. That is not pain control......it's a cruel joke. I get 4 hours of relief, and then have to suffer for the remaining 20. I can no longer even think about indulging in the simple outdoor activities that I love so much because I cannot walk more than 100 yards before being in agonizing pain. If you are rich enough (or famous enough), you can get what ever you want, whenever you want it, and in any amount. But the average joe with no health insurance (other than what the state provides) has to just grin and bear it. It's no wonder why some of us resort to suicide to end the pain.

First Post

Welcome to Ramblings! Say what you will here, but be mindful of everyone's right to express their own opinions.